For Such a Time as This! Renew! #weightloss

RENEWAL! I have been waiting til I lost 30 lbs to write this.... 


For years, I have had this sweet little blog that makes my heart happy, but I have ignored it for the past few years and tried to pretend that I was going to make changes.  I didn't.  And I kept trying and giving up.  
I got my chin back... 20 lbs gone

Last December, God put the word Surrender on my heart.  I thought He wanted me to surrender my finances, my parenting, almost everything.  I didn't realize He wanted me to surrender my control and put it in His hands.

In October, I was doing a study on Esther using Beth Moore's book with an awesome group of ladies.

Something hit me... BIG!
"And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this" Esther 4:14


If Esther didn't act immediately, her people would die. She could have just buried her head in the sand and ignored what was happening to her people. She was doing alright.  She was the queen.  It wasn't a great life.  She hadn't even seen her king in 30 days.  Should she put her life on the line now? Her uncle, Mordecai, knew she had to. And when he says, "Who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this" it spurs her to move forward.  She knows she may die.  She even says in Esther 4:16, "If I perish, I perish."  Wow!  Imagine having all that pressure to do something that you know is right but it could kill you, or knowing that your people WILL die if you don't. 

I realized that I make much easier decisions daily but still struggle with those decisions.  It seems that my stronghold this year and in the past few years has been my decision making.  Especially what decisions I am making concerning my health.  I will in no way compare this to the heroic decisions that Esther made, but I can learn something from what she did. 

I have gotten way too comfortable in my life. I feel like everything personal has been put on the back burner for me for a while now. I focus on work and being a mom and I even manage to fit in time with Jesus. But what about me? Oh, I do things for myself, but they aren't always healthy. Recently I read Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst, and I was convicted about how I crave food and treating myself to that food more than I crave God! Ouch! This is not something I am proud of.

I am mortified by the pic on the left. But there it is....
30 lbs down
A couple of months ago, at The Soul Sisters retreat in Tennessee.  One of the presenters talked about strongholds and how they cancel out our abilities to bear fruit. Wow... I know that I have an eating problem and it is affecting me on the inside, but I hadn't thought about how it was affecting my relationship with God and my ability to bear fruit.  

That was it, I just knew that I would lose a million pounds and give all the glory to God.  (I even saw my skinny self declaring it while I sat on the back of the convertible with my sash and crown waving to all that came to my "She's finally skinny parade" to celebrate this feat... Just kidding... kinda) I got back home and ran into the same thought process I always have, "I will do it... SOON."  I know I am not the only one who says this... soon... I will start monday, or on the first or in the new year....

About a week later,  I was woken up to a thought in the middle of the night. "Who knows! Could your word for the year, Surrender have been given to you for such a time as this!" It felt like it had been said specifically to me. I didn't hear a thunderous boom or a deep Morgan Freeman-like voice.  I just thought it. And I, FINALLY,  realized that NOW was the time. I don't have to be perfect but now, at this very moment, it was time.  I have always felt God would use my story for something, but I have never SURRENDERED control of this particular stronghold.  I have never given my cravings of food to God. I have never actually surrendered them. I would try to, but I would pick them up later in the McDonald's drive thru.  No more! I will do this! I will change my habits because I want to honor the Lord. That was Oct. 28th, 2019.

Esther did a whole lot more than what I have been doing with this past two weeks, and I am not trying to say I am anything like her.  But I know that in order to be who God wants me to be, I have to surrender this stronghold to God.  I have asked God to unsettle me and to remind me that the number on the scale doesn't define me. I also ask God to help me when it's time to make a food choice.  I have talked to Him a lot more in these last 2 months than I have in the past. Sometimes I have even painfully asked why those incredible cookies from Chicken Salad Chick can't be healthy!

He keeps reminding me of Ephesians 4:22-24: You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;  to be made new in the attitude of your minds;  and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.  

I have been asking people to pray for my "want to" in this journey over the last month, and it is SO VERY evident that people are! Some of you are, I know it.  And I am so grateful for your obedience. 

This growth has only come in the last few months and I pray deeply that I stay the course.  I know not everyone struggles with this issue, but I do hope it helps someone else. 

I would love to hear how you are going to enter 2020...  For me, my vision for 2020 is clear.... it's time for RENEWAL! I am ready to transform into who God wants me to be.

What is your word for 2020? Share it with me!


Prepare to fight Goliath! #MadetoCrave Day 2

This isn't just a fight for me.  It feels like a battle... a war! And I have, so far, just been sitting off to the side watching the enemy take over. The saddest part of all of this is that the enemy isn't just helping me stay over weight, he is affecting other parts of my life too. No more! I am a Godly woman who is taking back my life!

I was always very athletic and healthy when I was younger.  I would say that it's been the last 12 years that I have been carrying around the "fat suit."  It's weird because I forget my size until I see a photo or get a glimpse in the mirror. And I will not lie, this weight has beaten me down.
I am no weight loss expert. I am reading Made to Crave and focusing on glorifying God in all that I do.  It's that simple. I am not trying to write a book or start a weight loss program.  Just talking about my struggles and hoping to connect with like-minded people who want to discuss!

This weight has allowed for some ugly voices in my head to tell me my worth is wrapped up in a number.  Yikes! I don't like that and don't want that anymore.

In her book, Made to Crave, Lysa TerKeurst says she told herself this over and over again.  I am going to hang it up right by my scale.  I need to remember it. "I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs-not an indication of my worth."  Ok that preaches right there!!!  How many of us look to that scale for validation.  Or look at it with hate... I know I do.  I hate that stupid scale.   First step today: Weigh myself.  Y'all, seriously that sucked! It was a number I am not proud of and am not feeling led to share it with you, lol... and you don't have to share yours with me either! Ha!

So if I look at the scale in a different way, that is definitely the first step.  Second step for me is tracking my food.  Listen, I am not about to be sharing my food diary with anyone just yet, but I am ready to be accountable to me.  Tomorrow, I food journal. Can you do it too? I will be on the my fitness pal app. Search me and let's encourage each other!
You can follow me on or on the app.

What was your first step today? What did you do to start or continue on this journey?


Why does it have to be so hard!!! #MadeToCrave Day 1

Seriously! Why? It wasn't always this hard... why now?
Have you ever asked any of those questions? I am really struggling with this. I need to get healthy and I have the urge to, but I am missing one big thing.... I am missing my WANT to.  The WANT to comes with really hard choices that don't pack a lot of fun. I mean, I know I need to, but ugh... it's too hard!

No makeup and short hair, yikes! 
I will confess it now... I am tired of saying, when I lose weight I will do this or that... oh I am not going to get a headshot done til I lose weight, I am not going to cut my hair til I lose weight, I am not going to put myself out there to meet someone special til I lose weight.... All of the things that have to wait until I lose weight to do.... That is dumb! That means I am waiting to live UNTIL I LOSE WEIGHT????  Well that is pretty sad.  This should be the motivation to get started!

So today, I cut my hair! Yup! Chopped! I cut off about 9 inches! It's a short bob now and well, it doesn't make my face look thinner but my hair does look much healthier than it did.  But now, I can't hide under all of that hair.  You can see my face... it's too, um, uh, full.... So this should be the motivation to get started too!

I just finished the book, Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst.  If you all don't know of Lysa Terkeurst, you need to check her out. I have read a number of her books and she is incredible! She also founded Proverbs 31.  In this book, she talks about craving God more than you crave anything else.  Wow! I love my time with God and I want to glorify Him in everything I do.  Hmmm... am I doing that with my self care? So this should be the motivation to get start too!

Well, tomorrow is the day! I am starting Day 1 of Made to Crave Devotional: 60 Days to Craving God, Not Food. 

So, I am asking the Lord tonight to Unsettle Me! I don't want to keep living the way I am living. I want to be a healthy, Godly woman who takes care of the body that she was given so that she can live a long and happy life, LIVING, rather than watching from the sidelines!

Would you like to join me? I am considering starting a Made to Crave group.  Let me know in the comments if you want to join me.


Back to the Drawing Board #FWTFL

I am here now and that's all that matters!
Well, it's been too long since my last blog.  Unfortunately, that means that I haven't had much to talk about in the health and fitness world.  I am not sure how it's gotten away from me, but it has. 

Rather than beating myself up about it, I am going to forgive myself and move on.  Thank you all for joining me on this new endeavor... the road to healthy living!

I have tried so many different weight loss plans over the years and failed.  I am the queen of verbal abuse to myself and comforting myself with food.  NO MORE! Not happening anymore!

I have been reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. You read more about it HERE: Atomic Habits on Amazon. He talks about how negative thoughts produce more negative thoughts and that we can have big goals, but that can cause disappointment.  The better plan is to change by 1%. Just be 1% better and then celebrate the victories! I love it.  I have always said, "I want to lose 50 lbs (or whatever)"  And then when I didn't lose it in 30 days, I would feel frustrated and want to quit.  NO MORE! I want to make small changes and see the difference.

I have decided to do the FASTer Way to Fat Loss® program. This program was created Amanda Tress and I have see HUGE changes in lives! Not just weight loss, rather in overall health. It's all about creating healthy habits.

This program begins on Monday. I am excited to get it going. I will be documenting this 6 week program here. My coach is Jordan Rothwell and she has made huge changes and looks incredible.  She feels great too!

You can learn more about it here. FASTer Way to Fat Loss  Today I am still working on understanding the program. I am very excited. It is a plan that I feel I can get on board easily! It makes complete sense too.  I have already started fasting. We do an intermittent fast daily.  I will be fasting every day from 7pm til 11 am.  This allows for the body to burn fat.  I am excited about it.  I have done it this week and believe it or not, it isn't that hard.  When I really wanted to eat something the other night, I just went to bed.  LOL... worked perfectly!

I cannot wait to get started and I will be sharing the journey! Have you ever heard about this program? Do you know anything about it?